On one occasion the Blessed One was living at Savatthi in Jeta's Grove, Anathapindika's Park. On one occasion, venerable Moliya Phagguna was associating too much with bhikkhunis (nuns). He was associating so much such that if any bhikkhu spoke ill of those bhikkhunis in his presence, he would become angry and displeased and would rebuke him; likewise if any bhikkhu spoke ill of the venerable Moliya Phagguna in those bhikkhunis' presence, they would become angry and displeased and would rebuke him.
Then a certain bhikkhu went to the Blessed One, and after paying homage to him, he told the Blessed One what was taking place. Then the Blessed One asked a certain bhikkhu to bring bhikkhu Moliya Phagguna to him. Venerable Moliya Phagguna went to the Blessed One, and after paying homage to him, sat down at one side. The Blessed One asked him: "Phagguna, is it true that you are associating too much with bhikkhunis, so much so that if any bhikkhu speaks ill of those bhikkhunis in your presence, you become angry and displeased and rebuke him; and if any bhikkhu speaks ill of you in those bhikkhunis' presence, they become angry and displeased and rebuke him?" Moliya Phagguna replied: "Yes, venerable sir."
Buddha: "Phagguna, are you not a clansman who has gone forth out of faith from the home life into homelessness? (renounced) " Phagguna: "Yes, venerable sir."
Buddha: "Phagguna, it is not proper for you, a clansman gone forth out of faith from the home life into homelessness, to associate overmuch with bhikkhunis. When anyone speaks ill of those bhikkhunis in your presence, you should abandon any desires and any thoughts based on the household life. You should train thus: 'My mind will be unaffected and I shall utter no evil words; I shall abide compassionate for his welfare, with a mind of loving-kindness, without inner hate.' That is how you should train, Phagguna. If anyone gives those bhikkhunis a blow with his hand, with a stick, or with a knife in your presence, you should abandon any desires and any thoughts based on the household life. You should train thus: 'My mind will be unaffected...'"
"Likewise, if anyone speaks ill of yourself, you should abandon any desires and any thoughts based on the household life. You should train thus: 'My mind will be unaffected...' If anyone should give you a blow with his hand, with a stick, or with a knife, you should abandon any desires and any thoughts based on the household life. And herein you should train thus: 'My mind will be unaffected, and I shall utter no evil words; I shall abide compassionate for his welfare, with a mind of loving-kindness, without inner hate.' That is how you should train, Phagguna. "
Then the Blessed One addressed the bhikkhus thus: "Bhikkhus, there was an occasion when the bhikkhus satisfied my mind. Here I addressed the bhikkhus thus: 'Bhikkhus, I eat a single session. By so doing, I am free from illness and affliction, and I enjoy health, strength, and a comfortable abiding. Come, bhikkhus, eat a single session and you will benefit as such.' I do not need to keep on instructing those bhikkhus; I only had to arouse mindfulness in them.
Suppose there were a chariot on even ground at the crossroads, harnessed to thoroughbreds, with whips lying ready, so that a skilled trainer would tame and mount it, taking the reins in his left hand and the whip in his right hand, might drive out and back to wherever he likes. So too, I do not need to keep on instructing those bhikkhus; I only need to arouse mindfulness in them.
"Therefore, bhikkhus, abandon what is unwholesome and devote yourselves to wholesome states, that's how you will come to growth, progress, and achieve fulfillment in this Dhamma and Discipline. Suppose there were a big sala-tree grove near a village or town, and it was choked with weeds, and some man would appear desiring for its good, welfare, and protection. He would throw the crooked saplings that robbed the sap, clean up the interior of the grove and tend to the straight well-formed saplings, so that the sala-tree grove later on would come to growth, increase, and fulfillment. So too, bhikkhus, abandon what is unwholesome and devote yourselves to wholesome states,only then you will come to growth, progress, and achieve fulfillment in this Dhamma and Discipline. "
"Formerly, bhikkhus, in Savatthi there was a housewife named Vedehika. People talked about her as such: 'Mistress Vedehika is kind, Mistress Vedehika is gentle, Mistress Vedehika is peaceful.' Now Mistress Vedehika had a maid named Kali, who was clever, nimble, and neat in her work. Maid Kali thought: 'People talked good about her mistress Vedhika. How is it that she does not show anger? Does anger exist in her? Is it just because of my good work thus my lady shows no anger although it is actually present in her? Suppose I test my lady.'
"So the maid Kali got up late. The Mistress Vedehika said: 'Hey, Kali!' Kali: 'What is it, madam?' Mistress Vedehika: 'What is the matter that you get up so late?' Kali :'Nothing is the matter, madam.' Mistress Vedhika: 'Nothing is the matter, you wicked girl, yet you get up so late!' and she was angry and displeased, and she scowled. Then the maid Kali thought: "The fact is that while my lady does not show anger is because of my usual good work. But anger is actually present in her, not absent. Suppose I test my lady a little more.'
"So the maid Kali got up later in the day. Mistress Vedehika said: 'Hey, Kali!' Kali: 'What is it, madam?' Mistress Vedehika: 'What is the matter that you get up later in the day?' Kali: 'Nothing is the matter madam.' Mistress Vedhika :'Nothing is the matter, you wicked girl, yet you get up later in the day!' and she was angry and displeased, and she spoke words of displeasure. Then the maid Kali thought: 'The fact is that while my lady does not show anger when it is actually present in her. Suppose I test my lady a little more.'
"So the maid Kali got up still later in the day. Then Mistress Vedehika said: 'Hey, Kali!' Kali: 'What is it, madam?' Mistress Vedhika :'What is the matter that you get up still later in the day?' Kali :'Nothing is the matter, madam.' Mistress Vedhika: 'Nothing is the matter, you wicked girl, yet you get up still later in the day!' and she was angry and displeased, and she took,a rolling-pin, gave her a blow on the head, and cut her head. Then the maid Kali, with blood running from her head, denounced her mistress to the neighbors: 'See, ladies, the kind lady's work! See, ladies, the gentle lady's work! See, ladies, the peaceful lady's work! How can she become angry and displeased with her maid only getting up late? How can she take a rolling-pin and hit her head?' Then later on a bad report about Mistress Vedehika spread thus: 'Mistress Vedehika is rough, Mistress Vedehika is violent, Mistress Vedehika is merciless.'
"So too, bhikkhus, some bhikkhu is extremely kind, extremely gentle, extremely peaceful, so long as disagreeable courses of speech do not reach him. But it is when disagreeable courses of speech reach him that it can be understood whether that bhikkhu is really kind, gentle, and peaceful. I do not call a bhikkhu easy to admonish who is easy to admonish and makes himself easy to admonish only for the sake of getting robes, alms food, a resting place, and medicinal requisites. Why is that? Because that bhikkhu is not easy to admonish nor makes himself easy to admonish when he gets no robes, alms food, resting place, and medicinal requisites. But when a bhikkhu is easy to admonish and makes himself easy to admonish because he honors, respects, and reveres the Dhamma, him I call easy to admonish.
Therefore, bhikkhus, you should train thus: 'We shall be easy to admonish and make ourselves easy to admonish because we honor, respect, and revere the Dhamma.' That is how you should train, bhikkhus.
"Bhikkhus, there are these five courses of speech that others may use when they address you: their speech may be timely oruntimely, true or untrue, gentle or harsh, connected with good or with harm, spoken with a mind of loving-kindness or with inner hate. Herein, bhikkhus, you should train thus: 'Our minds will remain unaffected, and we shall utter no evil words; we shall abide compassionate for their welfare, with a mind of loving-kindness, without inner hate. We shall abide pervading that person with a mind imbued with loving kindness, and starting with him, we shall abide pervading the all-encompassing world with a mind imbued with loving kindness, abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility and without ill will.' That is how you should train, bhikkhus.
"Bhikkhus, suppose a man came with a hoe and a basket and said: 'I shall make this great earth to be without earth.' He would dig here and there, strew the soil here and there, spit here and there, and urinate here and there, saying: 'Be without earth, be without earth!' What do you think, bhikkhus? Could that man make this great earth to be without earth?" Bhikkhus: "No, venerable sir" Buddha:" Why is that?" Bhikkhus: " Because this great earth is deep and immense; it cannot possibly be made to be without earth. Eventually the man would reap only weariness and disappointment. " Buddha: "So too, bhikkhus, there are these five courses of speech... ..Herein, bhikkhus, you should train thus: 'Our minds will remain unaffected...and starting with him, we shall abide pervading the all-encompassing world with a mind similar to the earth, abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility and without ill will.' That is how you should train, bhikkhus. "
"Bhikkhus, suppose a man came with crimson, turmeric, indigo, or carmine and said: 'I shall draw pictures and make pictures appear on empty space.' What do you think, bhikkhus? Could that man draw pictures and make pictures appear on empty space?" Bhikkhus: "No, venerable sir." Buddha:" Why is that?" Bhikkhus: "Because empty space is formless and invisible; he cannot possibly draw pictures there or make pictures appear there. Eventually the man would reap only weariness and disappointment." Buddha: " So too, bhikkhus, there are these five courses of speech...Herein, bhikkhus, you should train thus: 'Our minds will remain unaffected...and starting with him, we shall abide pervading the all-encompassing world with a mind similar to empty space, abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility and without ill will.' That is how you should train, bhikkhus. "
"Bhikkhus, suppose a man came with a blazing grass-torch and said: 'I shall heat up and burn away the river Ganges with this blazing grass-torch.' What do you think, bhikkhus? Could that man do that?" Bhikkhus: "No, venerable sir. " Buddha: "Why is that?" Bhikkhus:" Because the river Ganges is deep and immense; it cannot possibly be heated up and burned away with a blazing grass-torch. Eventually the man would reap only weariness and disappointment." Buddha: "So too, bhikkhus, there are these five courses of speech...Herein, bhikkhus, you should train thus: 'Our minds will remain unaffected...and starting with him, we shall abide pervading the all-encompassing world with a mind similar to the river Ganges, abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility and without ill will.' That is how you should train, bhikkhus. "
"Bhikkhus, suppose there were a cat-skin bag that was rubbed, thoroughly well-rubbed, soft, silky, rid of rustling, rid of crackling, and a man came with a stick or a potsherd and said: 'There is this cat-skin bag that is rubbed...rid of rustling, rid of crackling. I shall make it rustle and crackle.' What do you think, bhikkhus? Could that man make it so?" Bhikkhus: "No, venerable sir. " Buddha: "Why is that?" Bhikkhus: " Because that cat skin bag being rubbed...rid of rustling, rid of crackling, cannot possibly be made to rustle or crackle with the stick or the potsherd. Eventually the man would reap only weariness and disappointment." Buddha: "So too, bhikkhus, there are these five courses of speech that others may use when they address you: their speech may be timely or untimely, true or untrue, gentle or harsh, connected with good or with harm, spoken with a mind of loving kindness or with inner hate. "
Herein, bhikkhus, you should train thus: 'Our minds will remain unaffected, and we shall utter no evil words; we shall abide compassionate for their welfare, with a mind of loving-kindness, without inner hate. We shall abide pervading that person with a mind imbued with loving-kindness; and starting with him, we shall abide pervading the all-encompassing world with a mind similar to a cat skin bag, abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility and without ill will.' That is how you should train, bhikkhus. "
"Bhikkhus, even if bandits were to sever you savagely limb by limb with a two-handled saw, he who gave rise to a mind of hate towards them would not be carrying out my teaching. Herein, bhikkhus, you should train thus: 'Our minds will remain unaffected, and we shall utter no evil words; we shall abide compassionate for their welfare, with a mind of loving kindness, without inner hate. We shall abide pervading them with a mind imbued with loving-kindness; and starting with them, we shall abide pervading the all-encompassing world with a mind imbued with loving-kindness, abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility and without ill will.' That is how you should train, bhikkhus.
Buddha: "Bhikkhus, if you keep this advice on the simile of the saw constantly in mind, do you see any course of speech, trivial or gross, that you could not endure?" Bhikkhus: "No, venerable sir." Buddha: "Therefore, bhikkhus, you should keep this advice on the simile of the saw constantly in mind. That will lead to your welfare and happiness for a long time." That is what the Blessed One said. The bhikkhus were satisfied and delighted in the Blessed One's words.
In summary, Buddha used many illustrations to explain how one can use compassion and loving kindness to over come anger and ill will. He first instructed how the monk Moliya Phagguna should not associate too much with the nuns and how he should overcome his anger and displeasure when revoked. He told Phagguna, he should train thus: 'My mind will be unaffected and I shall utter no evil words; I shall abide compassionate for his welfare, with a mind of loving-kindness, without inner hate.' He also told the monks: "Bhikkhus, abandon what is unwholesome and devote yourselves to wholesome states, that's how you will come to growth, progress, and achieve fulfillment in this Dhamma and Discipline. "
Then Buddha gave another illustration of a housewife named Vedehika as an example. He talks about 5 kinds of speech and how to react to harsh speech. He said :" There are these five courses of speech that others may use when they address you: their speech may be timely oruntimely, true or untrue, gentle or harsh, connected with good or with harm, spoken with a mind of loving-kindness or with inner hate. Herein, bhikkhus, you should train thus: 'Our minds will remain unaffected, and we shall utter no evil words; we shall abide compassionate for their welfare, with a mind of loving-kindness, without inner hate. We shall abide pervading that person with a mind imbued with loving kindness, and starting with him, we shall abide pervading the all-encompassing world with a mind imbued with loving kindness, abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility and without ill will.' That is how you should train, bhikkhus.
The Buddha teaches them how to maintain the attitude of boundless loving kindness (metta) and compassion (karuna) to all beings, as the unshaken basis for one’s relationship with the world. He shows how pervading the world with this deep sense of kindness and compassion lead us to experience profound peace, patience and openness.
References: 1. www.accesstoinsight.org 2. https://suttacentral.net/ 3. The middle length discourses of the Buddha (Bhikkhu Bodhi)